A hilarious misunderstanding
As the uber pulled up, I opened the back door for my wife, she climbed in, thanked me and said "every day is like a date with you," I smiled, closed the door walked over to the other side of the car.
But the Uber driver waved his hand, said "no, no" and waved to the front seat for me to take. Confused, I opened the front right door and said in English "you want me to sit here?" He said nothing and nodded. I obliged.
I asked if he spoke any English and he said "No, sorry." So, I just assumed it was a personal preference and settled in for the ride.
Then Richi asked me why he's asking me to sit in front. I said I don't know. She said - "do you think … he thinks… I'm a…
It is Colombia, we've seen the signs everywhere…
Do you think I should not have worn red today? "
She means the signs in all the hotels warning us about prostitution. Clearly saying that guests are not allowed in the rooms. "Beware of underage solicitation. Report anything suspicious. Guests are not allowed in rooms at any times…"
I was suddenly sitting upright. Both laughing and outraged.
I pulled out Google Translator and set it up to Conversation so that I could speak to this driver. I said "my friend, was there a particular reason you asked me to sit in front?"
He said "si" (yes).
"Why is that?"
He said "It is not yet legal here amigo"!
Confirming our crazy suspicion. Richi was like "Oh my God, he really thinks I'm…! Tell him I'm your wife Shona!"
Then she began doubting herself "Maybe I shouldn't have worn this dress. Maybe the area we're going for dinner is shady. Maybe Red is frowned upon here."
I was immediately talking to the driver. "This is my wife of 5 years. Does she look like a minor?"
I turn to Richi and asked "are you wearing your wedding ring?" She said "No, everyone told me not to wear my rings!"
The driver replied "The Lord knows the Truth. The Lord knows my first and last name"
I turned to Richi and I said "it is a compliment Love, you look so young. He's confused!"
I'm getting super animated now, pulling up our wedding photos on Instagram. And Richi says "we don't have to prove anything to him love!"
We left the Uber in a huff.
WE told our dinner friends this outrageous story!
They said "you guys know that Uber is illegal in Colombia right?"
The guy doesn't want the cops to pull him over so he asked you to sit in front.
We said
"What?"
"So he wasn't thinking Richi is an underage …?"
"Yeah, he wasn't"
"DAMMNNNNN…. What a relief…."